Transformation, Rebirth and Fire
I recently had the opportunity to receive the Usui/Holy Fire Reiki Ignition experience. I have been a practitioner of Traditional Usui/Reiki for several years and have very much enjoyed and benefited from working within in its structure. I have been using it personally and professionally along with many other tools that I have picked up along the way for the purpose of holding sacred space for students and clients to discover their own path to healing and empowerment. For as long as I can remember I have felt that this was my calling and felt guided to play this role for many people and even build a whole community around this work. I am also yoga teacher that has been teaching for 11yrs.
Since my Holy Fire Ignition everthing is changing. And it feels like a total rebirth.
As I understand it the essence of Holy Fire is about burning out the things at every level of my experience that are no longer in alignment for the purpose of bringing a higher vibrational state. It began with a very simple yet profound request. Stop spending all my energy assisting others and redirect this energy to myself. Sounds like a selfish statement as I sit here and type it out. However, on the contrary. In retrospect it seems the selfish act was more about distracting myself from the important task at hand, my own growth and process of allowing. It is so much easier for me to focus on everyone else. It is disguised in a cloke of service, justification as “the healer” and fed through the ego. Powerful for sure. What I’m learning is the that I’m not a healer in that sense. One who “heals” others. I’ve always known this to be true but it is taking a deeper path of truth in my current state of awareness. The only one have any ability to transform (replacing the word heal) is me.
At it’s core, to carry the energy of “the healer” means that there is something essentially sick and needs to be fixed. Am I truly carrying this story in my experience that I, my world and the magnificence of all I am capable of is truly sick and needs to be healed by something outside of myself? What of non-duality? What about being the creator of my own experiences and life? If its jacked up is that no my own doing? These are the ideas that have come clearly into view for me in recent weeks. I have come to many of my own knowings around in this but more importantly what are yours. What I have learned really in the grander scheme of things is inconsequential except to me. At the heart of the message that I have been sharing since the beginning of my teaching and facilitation career has been about learning to listen and be obedient to the Inner Guidance we all carry.
I have only begun to scratch the surface but some serious changes in how I’m processing things are occurring. I’m being asked to take full responsibility for my own well being. Every time I want to try and get the answer from someone else I am redirected back to sit with myself. This doesn’t mean that messages aren’t coming through loud and clear through the interactions I’m having everyday but its about how I choose to process this information. This also affects the work I do with others. I’ve been halted abruptly from taking new private clients as this vibrational shift continues to work with me.
Needless to say this whole experience has been a bit unsettling. However the constant and clear feeling that it is so deeply needed keeps me pressing forward and working through all the crushing doubts that want take over.
During this time I have experienced fatigue, difficulty communicating, foggy brain, and general fear and doubt. This is beginning to clear. As I continue to meditate daily I know that these are only symptoms of the larger changes that are unfolding and nothing to fear or become distracted by. Honestly it has kind of felt like being lost in the woods at night.
I share all this with you today because I sense from much of the information that I’m reading, conversations I’ve been having and just that gentle knowing that perhaps I’m not the only one having a major shift. We all experience transformation in different ways. This is my way right now. Yours most likely is very different but just a powerful.
To circle back on point, if adjustments are asked to be made in my life it doesn’t mean that I’m broken. If what I’ve created in my life once worked well but now doesn’t seems to flow, it doesn’t mean that I’ve failed. If a vision that I have held for the majority of my life no longer seems to work in the same way it doesn’t mean it was wrong. It just means it is time to let my iron grip soften and allow what wishes to be birthed through me do its thing. It’s what I am made for and only when I fight does it feel like its ripping me apart. When I relax, breath, allow and move from a place of confidence in not knowing but instead diving into my faith so deeply that it doesn’t matter. When I trust completely I experience this shift in a way that is so empowering it takes with it all the old stuff that has been holding me back.
Let the rebirth continue.
Much gratitude for all those that have assisted along the way. To the one that has shared Reiki with me and journeyed with me all this way, thank you. To all those that show up as “students” you have been more of a teacher to me then you will ever know. And those that I live with, well no words can express how much I love and appreciate all that you share with me each and every day.
I look forward to the next writing that come forward from all this change.
So farewell for now from the messy but beautiful fire of transformation. Celebrate your own changes and trust all that it is bringing in each and every moment. Don’t doubt for a moment, it’s perfect. As we have heard a million times before, You are the One you have been waiting for.
Please feel free to share in the comments anything that comes up for you. I would love to hear it. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Sending so much love to each of you.